英作文特訓　京大過去問を使って: 京大英作ー２０１３年京大 [ 前期 ](1)

課題の説明

平成25年　２０１３年　京大 [ 前期 ]

課題（文字数: 162文字）

今日、睡眠不足は見過ごせない問題となっている。原因の一つは、社会全体が深夜も多くの人が起きていることを想定して動いていることである。照明器具の発達も、我々の体内時計を狂わせているのかもしれない。その一方で、多くの学校や会社の始まる時間は変わっていない。こうして睡眠不足が生まれやすくなり、日中の集中力の低下を引き起こすのだ。

答案（単語数: 450文字 82語）

添削後チェック入り：

	These days, lack of sleeping time is a problem which (A_)can not(_A) be overlooked.One of the reasons is that whole society work under a hypothesis which is not a few people stay (B)awake late at night. It is probably because the development of light devices (C_)don't make our inner clocks work(_C). On the other hand, the starting time of schools or companies hasn't changed. Therefore, people tend not to get enough sleeping time and (D_)they focus on their tasks(_D) during the daytime.

These days, lack of sleeping time is a problem which (A_)can not(_A) be overlooked.One of the reasons is that whole society work under a hypothesis which is not a few people stay (B)awake late at night. It is probably because the development of light devices (C_)don't make our inner clocks work(_C). On the other hand, the starting time of schools or companies hasn't changed. Therefore, people tend not to get enough sleeping time and (D_)they focus on their tasks(_D) during the daytime.

添削前：These days, lack of sleeping time is the problem which can't be overlooked. One of the reasons is that whole societies work under a hypothesis that not a few people stay awake late at night. The development of light devices may don't make our inner clocks work. On the other hand, the starting time of many schools and companies has not changed. Therefore, we tend not to get enough sleeping time and not to focus on their work during the day time..

ginger check:red

添削結果(添削依頼先：フルーツフルイングリッシュ日記添削)

These days, lack of sleeping time is a problem which (A_)cannot(_A) be overlooked.One of the reasons is that whole society work under a hypothesis which is not a few people stay (B)up late at night. It is probably because the development of light devices (C_)disrupts our inner clocks(_C). On the other hand, the starting time of schools or companies hasn't changed. Therefore, people tend not to get enough sleeping time and (D_)it results in decrease in concentration(_D) during the daytime.

今後の課題,添削ダイジェスト

(A)cannotは一語です。

(B)stay up late

「遅くまで起きている、夜更かしする」

という意味の熟語です。

間違いではありませんでしたが、

この表現をつかったほうがより自然な感じがします。

(C)「体内時計が狂う」

don't make our inner clocks workだと、

『体内時計を作動させない」という意味で、

英語としては正しいですが、日本語にはあまり忠実とはいえにですね。

ここではdisrupt「混乱させる」という動詞をつかって

表現してみました。

(D)「その結果として集中力が低下する」

it results in decrease in concentration

it results in poor concentration

などの言い方がいいと思います。

they focus on their tasks

「仕事に集中する」

だと日本語の文と反対のことを言ってしまっています。

not入れるの忘れた…あかん

英語ライティングを頑張ってる方がたのブログです。　
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