英作文特訓　京大過去問を使って: 基礎英文問題精構６

課題の説明

基礎英文問題精構６

課題（文字数: 216文字）

テレビはしばしば家庭内の意思の疎通を妨げる事実はすでによく知られている。このような新しい成り行きのために人々はますます自分の中にこもってくらし、人と意思を通じ合おうとしなくなるだろう。おそらく科学技術そのものが、自分が関心をもつことしかかわりを持たない人間を作りつつあるのだろう。機械が我々の社会的責任感を破壊するのを許してはならない。我々が認めようが認めまいが、われわれは皆この地球上に一緒に住み、同じ運命を共有しているのである。

答案（単語数: 465文字 76語）

添削後チェック入り：

It is well known that the television often (A)prevent domestic communication. Because of this kind of new trend, more and more people won't live by (B)their selves and don't communicate with others. Science and technology(C_), itself, probably make people who only communicate with someone they are interested in.(_C) Machines should not be allowed to destroy our (D)social responsibility. Whether you recognize (E_) or not, all we live in this Earth and have the same destiny in common.(_E)

ginger check:red

答案作成にあたって調べたこと,添削後チェックしたいこと

家庭内の：domestic

添削結果(添削依頼先：フルーツフルイングリッシュ日記添削)

It is well known that the television often (A)prevents domestic communication. Because of this kind of new trend, more and more people won't live by (B)themselves and don't communicate with others. Science and technology(C_) probably lead to a situation where people only communicate with those they are interested in.(_C) Machines should not be allowed to destroy our (D)sense of social responsibility. Whether you recognize (E_) it or not, we all live on Earth and share a destiny. (_E)

今後の課題,添削ダイジェスト

今回はネイティブに添削してもらった

下のような表現ももっと使っていきたいと思った

人を～させる（意訳）：lead to a situation where people～

(A) CONJUGATION
Television is a singular word, so we say "prevents" to conjugate properly.

(B) GRAMMAR
Here, people live or don't live by "themselves".

(C) GRAMMAR
We needed to change this sentence significantly by just saying "probably lead to a situation where people only communicate with those they are interested in." - there is no need for "itself" (it should be "themselves") here.

(D) EXPRESSION
Here, we don't just have "social responsibility" but a sense of it when we are aware of it.

(E) GRAMMAR
The correct expression is "it or not", and we usually speak of "sharing a destiny".

英語ライティングを頑張ってる方がたのブログです。　
ご参考にどうぞ～